My 'Goddam' Life - Old Spencer

I used to think about old Spencer quite a lot, if you thought about him too much you would think what the heck has he still living for. In class if he dropped a piece of his chalk someone on the front row would have to pick it up for him. That's awful in my opinion. But if you thought about him for just enough and not too long, then you could figure it out he wasn't doing too bad for himself. For instance he bought a Navajo Blanket of some Indian in Yellowstone Park. You could tell he got a bang out of buying it. Self consciously i sort of related to him though that blanket, I guess that blanket was my innocence and I just wanted to hold on to it.

I guess that is why I'm messed up in the head, because I want to hold on to my childhood but I try acting like an adult, trying to grow up. Anyway I went up to his room and his door has open but i still knocked just to be polite. There were pills and medicine all over the place. I'm not too crazy about sick people. He had written a note to me asking me to come round to say good-by. He asked me about the chat i had with Dr Thurmer, I told him that we talked about life being a game and you have to play by the rules. Life isn't a game though, you are either on the side with the hot shots where it is a game, but if your not then it isn't.

He asked if I had told my parents about being kicked out of Pency I said no, my parents would be pretty irritated about me being kicked out. Pency has like the forth school I have been to. he then asked my about my subjects and how many I have took, I answered 5, he then asked how many are you failing in, I then replied 4. You see Spencer has my history teacher and we hasn't too happy about flunking me.

While i has shooting the bull to him about me not blaming him about failing me I has sort of thinking about the lagoon in Central Park and where the ducks go in winter. He then asked me about Whooton school and Elkton Hills and that I had difficulty at them. I then made it clear that I didn't have too much difficulty at Elkton and, that it was just full of phonys and that i couldn't take it (basically I just quit). After a while i then left and after i left Spencer shouted good luck, I hate it, it sounds terrible if you think about it.