Sonnet

The ducks in winter where do they fly to
And the fish do they just stay and turn blue
D.B, old phoebe and good old Allie
You three all mean the goddamn most to me
With your pen covered mitts and cool red hair
And D.B promise me you will be there
When you keep all your kings on the back row
You old Jane Gallagher really did glow

Damn you’d never see me in the movies
I mean it was a place full of phonies
Imagine if you could stop time and all
It drives me crazy like becoming tall
This whole world im in is full of morons
Please remember when the ducks are all gone

My ‘Goddam’ Life – The Fish in Winter

I got in a cab and told him to go to Greenwich Village. The driver was called Horwitz. I ask him if he knew where the ducks go in winter. He didn’t know and started to get sore about it. He then started talking about the fish, but who gives a damn about the fish! I was talking about the ducks. He said that they just get stuck in a block of ice. He got really sore so I stopped the conversation before he crashed.

I got a seat and ordered a scotch and soda. I was surrounded by jerks. All of a sudden Lillian Simmons came up to me with this navy looking guy. She used to know my brother. She kept asking about D.B. and then asked if I wanted to join them but i said i has just leaving. I disnt want to leave but I wasnt going to sit with lillian and that Navy guy, people are always ruining things for you.

My ‘Goddam’ Life – Good Old Jane

On my way back to the lobby I got Jane Gallagher on the brain again. I got quiet intimate with her, but not in a physical way, you don’t have to get too sexy to get to know a girl. This one afternoon me and Jane got close to necking, we were playing checkers then this booze hound her mother has married to came out, he asked Jane a question but she didn’t answer.

All of a sudden a tear fell on the board so I took her to the glider and started kissing her all over, her nose, ears, eyes, chin, anywhere! I thought that her could have tried to get wise with her, she said no though. Anyway that’s the closest we got to necking.

It drove me crazy thinking about her and that damn Ed Banky’s car. Anyway I then remembered this night club where old Ernie plays a piano, my brother D.B. used to go there Hes so good hes sort of corny.

My 'Goddam' Life - Lavender Room

I couldn’t sleep so I decided to go down to the Lavender room where I met these three witches, one was ok but the other two where hags. I danced with the blond who was amazing, the other two where terrible. They all loved phony movie stars so I horsed around by telling one that Gary Cooper had just left and she got so excited. They left early and left me to pay for their dirks but I didn’t mind.

My 'Goddam' Life - The Sexy Hotel

When I got off at Penn station I decided to go to a phone booth and give someone a buzz, but then I didn’t feel like it. I did contemplate calling Sally Hayes though because I new her vacation had started, but I couldn’t risk her mother answering because she knew my mother. She said I had no direction in my life.

I got a cab and told the driver the wrong address by mistake, but carried on anyway. In the cab I asked him where the ducks go in winter but he thought I was taking the mic. I told him to turn around and take me to a hotel

What I saw from my room there shocked the hell out of me, there were transvestites and people squirting water into each others mouths. I’m probably the biggest sex maniac you ever saw though. I horse around with girls a lot, I don’t really understand sex.

I then called up some girl this guy I knew, knew. She was sort of a prostitute because she was always up for some. She didn’t want to meet me that night though so we didn’t do anything.

My 'Goddam' Life - Mrs Morrow

It was too late to call a cab so i decide to get a train. When on the train I this woman asked me if i had a Pency Prep sticker on my bad, and i did very corny. I turned out she was Ernest Morrows mother. Ernest was the type of guy that would snap you with his towel on your ass. But i decided to shoot the bull and tell his mum what a great guy he was, mothers loves hearing how great their sons are.

My 'Goddam' Life - Leaving Pency

I went into Ackleys room after the fight with Stradlater. We kept asking what the fight has about, but I didn’t tell him. I stayed in Ackleys room and slept there that night. I got up part way though anyway and walked around, everyone was still asleep, and then in an instant I decided not to wait until Wednesday to leave, I decided to get the hell out now, so I went back to my room and packed. What did make me sad though was when I was packing I had to pack these new ice skates my mum got me, when ever someone got me a present it made me sad. I put my Red Hunting hat on and yelled ‘Sleep Tight ya morons’ then left.